


Under the Weather

by Tinkerbee



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Bat Brothers, Bat Family, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Sickfic, Some Language (Blame Jason)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-21 01:14:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11933250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tinkerbee/pseuds/Tinkerbee
Summary: "Oh my God! You sneeze like a kitten!"A storm hits Gotham one night during patrol, leading to some interesting revelations.





	Under the Weather

**Author's Note:**

> Characters are Property of DC Comics. If I owned them, I'd be a lot nicer to them

      Tim turned the headlights of his motorcycle up to the highest setting, struggling to make out the road through the seemingly ceaseless rain pelting down. A storm had hit Gotham halfway through patrol, bringing with it harsh gusts of wind and torrential downpours. Driving conditions in the city were bad enough, but maintaining his course on the darkened road toward Wayne Manor was near impossible. If the location of the Batcave’s secret entrance hadn’t been engrained in his mind, he would have missed it entirely. A bolt of lightning lit the night sky just as he sped into the tunnel. Relieved to finally be out of the rain, he quickly parked his motorcycle, taking note that Dick’s cycle was already in its spot. He heard the tunnel door open again, but didn’t wait to see who it was, opting instead to find a dry set of clothes. Boots squelching with ever step, Tim entered the cave’s main complex.

     “Hey Timmy,” an already-changed Dick called from his seat in front of the cave’s computer. Tim hummed in reply, his gaze laser-focused on the sets of clothes Alfred had laid out in expectation of their return. Man, did he love that butler. Grabbing his stuff from the pile, he all but ran to the changing area, eager to finally be rid of his soaked uniform. As he pulled a warm sweatshirt over his head, he heard someone stomp into the cave.

     “Fucking rain,” Jason cursed, tossing something, probably his helmet, onto one of the tables.

     “Hello to you too, Jay,” Dick responded, a slight chuckle in his voice. Tim re-entered the common area to see Jason throwing his jacket over a chair. He then proceeded to undo his gun holsters, inspecting each weapon before placing it on the table.

     “You know Bruce hates it when you leave those out,” Dick chided as Jason headed for the changing room. Jason flipped Dick off with his free hand before disappearing from view.

     “Someone’s grumpy,” Tim commented, tousling his damp hair with a towel he’d grabbed from a stack near the dry clothes. Alfred really thought of everything.

     “Pretty sure that’s his default setting,” Dick smirked as he continued typing. “Probably had a slow night.” Tim nodded in agreement, think of his own uneventful patrol. The storm seemed to have sent the criminals into hiding, at least temporarily. Things never stay quiet in Gotham for long.  
Plopping down at his work station, Tim began the process of updating his case files with the night’s patrol notes. Jason emerged from the changing area a few moments later.

     “Sup Timmers,” he greeted, lightly shoving the back of Tim’s chair as he passed. Tim huffed in response, but gave no reaction beyond that. Jason flopped into his own chair as the elevator door opened. Alfred entered the cave, balancing a tray on which rested three mugs and a plate of his famous raspberry chocolate chip scones.

     “Hell yes!” Jason practically flew from his seat, excited by the sight of one of his favorite treats.

     “Language, Master Jason,” Alfred scolded, holding the tray just out of the younger man’s reach.

    “Sorry Alfred.” Jason made a grab for the scones. At Alfred’s pointed look, he froze. The butler’s gaze traveled from Jason to the table where the guns rested. Without a word, Jason rushed to put his guns in the safe in his armor case. When Alfred nodded his approval, Jason let out a triumphant whoop, claiming nearly half the scones on the plate for himself. After passing out the mugs of hot chocolate, Alfred left the plate on one of the tables and departed for the manor. The three brothers fell into a comfortable silence, each absorbed in their own activities.

     It was nearly an hour later that the roar of the Batmobile’s engine filled the cave, startling the boys. The engine however, never turned off, and a few seconds later they once again heard the car peeling out of the cave accompanied by an unintelligible yell. The three shared a confused look as Dick stood to investigate the situation. He didn’t make it far before Damian stormed into the cave, muttering a string of Arabic curses. Realizing he had an audience, he turned a venomous glare on his brothers. The effect was slightly less threatening due to his appearance. The youngest Bat’s uniform clung to his body, his cape a hanging deadweight on his back. A puddle had already begun to collect at his feet though he had only been standing there a moment.

     “What?” Damian growled, though it came out more of a rasp.

     “Ditched by daddy dearest?” Jason teased.

     “Zip it, Todd,” Damian wrapped his arms around himself, suppressing a shiver. “Father and I were conducting a rooftop stake-out. He thought I was getting sick, so he forced me to return. He said he would handle it.” Damian let out an annoyed huff as he tried and failed to suppress another shiver.

     Dick sprang into action, his Big Brother Mode (or Mother Bird Mode, if you asked Jason) taking over. He grabbed a towel from the stack and engulfed Damian in a towel hug. Indignant squawks filled the space as Dick proceeded to dry his brother off. Tim did his best to stifle his laughter, but Jason didn’t even try.

     “I’m not a baby, Grayson!” Damian croaked when he finally freed himself from his oldest brother’s hold.

     “Sure you aren’t, Little D,” Dick chuckled, ruffling his brother’s still wet hair. “Now go get changed. I’ll ask Alfred to make you some tea.” Damian stood silent for a moment before his head jerked forward in a sneeze. The three older boys stared in shocked silence, until Jason burst out laughing.

    “Oh my God,” Jason howled, “you sneeze like a kitten!” At his comment, Dick and Tim broke into their own fits of laughter. Damian’s face flushed red with either angry or embarrassment, but most likely a combination of both.

    “I do not sneeze like a kitten!” Damian protested. His claim was proven wrong by series of quiet sneezes that sent his brothers into even further hysterics.

     “So adorable,” Dick wheezed, trying and failing to compose himself.  
     “You’re all dead!” Damian threatened, emitting another sneeze.

     “Wait, wait, I’ve got it!” Tim cried as he pulled something up on the Batcave’s main screen. A video of a baby panda sneezing began playing on loop. “It’s baby Damian!”

     “I hate this family,” Damian grumbled as he stomped to the changing area, the sound of his brothers’ laughter still echoing throughout the cave.  
                                                                                           

                                                                                                        *********************************

     Dick yawned as he walked down the long hallway to his room. It had taken half an hour to convince Damian to take some medicine, the mission only succeeding thanks to Alfred’s assistance. After forcing a cup of tea on his youngest charge, the butler had insisted on Damian going to bed. When the boy had begun to protest, Alfred casually asked if he’d prefer to be dragged there by his ear. Once the pair had left, the remaining three brothers had moved upstairs to one of the manor’s many dens for an impromptu movie night. Dick had left halfway through the second movie, his fatigue finally catching up with him.

     As he passed the door to the study, he heard a quiet sneeze from within. He paused, listening carefully to ensure he hadn’t imagined it. Two minutes passed, and Dick was about to move on when he heard it again.

    ‘Damian’ Dick sighed. He must have snuck out of bed. ‘That kid is just as stubborn as Bruce.’ Dick opened the door, fully prepared to chastise his brother. However, he was caught off guard at the sight before him.

     Bruce sat in one of the armchairs by the fireplace, a stack of files in his lap and a mug of tea resting on the end table beside him. Damian was nowhere to be seen. Dick stood slack-jawed in the open doorway.

    ‘There’s no way…..I would have noticed before now….’ Dick racked his brain, trying to remember if he’d ever heard Bruce sneeze during his many years at Wayne Manor. He drew a blank.

    “Hello, Dick,” Bruce finally acknowledged his presence. “Something I could help you with?”

    “No,” Dick stammered as his mind refocused on the present. “Just heading to bed. Good night.”

    “Good night,” Bruce replied, gaze turning back to his files. Dick remained in the doorway, still watching his mentor. Bruce glanced back up from his work. The two men stared at each other for a moment before Bruce’s head jerked forward as he emitted a dainty sneeze.

    “Oh my God!” Dick burst out laughing, taking off at a sprint in the direction he’d come from. “Guys! The kitten sneeze! It’s genetic!”

     Bruce blew his nose in a tissue, mentally cursing himself for being so careless. His secret was out, and his boys weren’t going to let him live it down any time soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Thought it would be funny if Damian had a dainty sneeze, then decided Bruce should have one too. Like father like son. 
> 
> Inspiration partially from the scene where Dipper sneezes in Gravity Falls, but mainly based on my one friend's real-life kitten sneeze. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
